Costume College 2019 || The Introvert’s Guide (ft. Bernadette Banner)

Costume College 2019 || The Introvert’s Guide (ft. Bernadette Banner)

– What if we do, like, vlogception? (laughing) We’re doing vlogception right now. Cathy’s vlogging me vlogging Cathy. Cathy’s giving me a life
lesson about taking breaks. – [Cathy] Oh, I have to
stop giving advice, don’t I? – No, you don’t, your
advice is very valuable. – [Cathy] By now, you may have seen a few vlogs of Costume College. It looks like a really awesome, inspiring, exciting event, doesn’t it? But you may also be thinking that it looks totally overwhelming. If you’re an introvert, and
especially if you also live a million miles away, you
may be feeling like an event or convention like this one could never be a realistic
possibility for you. In that case, it’s time to show you another side to Costume College. Here’s how Team Introvert does it. – We successfully peopled. – We did, and it was okay, it was okay. – We survived.
– Yep. (recording rewinding) I’ve just arrived at Costume College. This is the 10th anniversary
of the first time I came, so I have a few of
these under my belt now. I have arrived on Thursday. It should have been Wednesday. But I had a very long trip
with an unexpected delay. So I’ve arrived at 11
o’clock, Thursday morning. I always try to get in
at least a day early. That is just because A,
I’m coming from England, which is a heck of a long way, and I just like to have
a day to get through the worst of the jet lag. Just be chilled and ready
for everything to begin, so I’m not like, launched
headlong into all the crazy. Over the years, there
have been a few times when I’ve felt frazzled or overwhelmed or I’ve even had a meltdown right in the middle of Costume
College and missed part of it. I’ve certainly had times
when I’ve ended up in my room like, wrapped in a curtain in the corner, because I was just so, just
overwhelmed with everything, with a big crowd of
people and all of that, so I might show you in this video some of my little tricks and tips
for doing events like this. I don’t just do Costume College. I do business events and
all sorts of conferences, and I’ll be showing you, you’ll
be seeing behind the scenes and how I do this and how I cope. Because, frankly, I live on
my own and I work from home, so I spend a lot of time
on my own in my daily life. So, coming to an event like
this is a huge culture shock. I’m suddenly in this huge crowd of people. My massage therapist just left. I come from literally the
other side of the world. By the time I get here, I can be pretty cranky and tired and stiff, so if I’ve paid that
amount of money already to come all this way,
I might as well spend another $100 and have somebody come and completely chill me out, ready to get the most out of this event. There is a service called, where you can book a massage therapist to literally come to your hotel room and they will come and
give you an hour’s massage. After I’ve come all this way, I might as well do everything I can to be, to feel at my best. It’s not for everybody,
but it’s something that I’ve discovered that really works for me. The next thing I’m going to
do, and this costs nothing, is I just sit here on the
first day, when I’m chilled, and quiet, and I just think about what is my intention for this event? What do I actually want
to get out of this year? What is the one thing,
above all other things, that I want to get out of this? Because I find that if I don’t
go into it with an intention, then I tend to end up
trying to do all the things and get the most out of
it by doing everything, and that just doesn’t
work, ’cause I end up just frazzled and overwhelmed, and like burning out or melting down. So, if I know exactly why I’m here, I can pick and choose what I do. I’m really interested in where
we’re going as a community, so that’s the sort of thing
I want to learn about, and I want to talk about with people, so that doesn’t necessarily involve being at classes all the time, or doing specific things
that are like on the menu. A lot of what happens at Costume College can be what happens between
classes, or in the hallways, or spontaneous conversations that happen, so that’s pretty much where
my intention is for this year, and that might change,
through the weekend. You might come here with one intention and leave with a different one. So, we’ll see how this goes. This one is fairly simple,
(suspenseful music) because these ones at Costume College, you can just pour water in, put your cup with your teabag in, in the
bottom, and you’re done. (machine whirring) But, I mean, who wants to
drink tea out of a paper cup? The way to do this is, early in your stay,
you order room service. They will bring you an
actual cup and saucer, ladies and gentlemen. Constance, are you in the market
for English Breakfast here? This seems to be all they have. – [Constance] Could I have Earl Grey? I’ve brought my own. – [Cathy] Oh, excellent. Are you going to endure the paper cup, or, you’ve got your own
cup as well, excellent. – [Bernadette] Oh no!
– I don’t know whether this– – [Bernadette] It can
collapse a little bit. – [Cathy] Oh, okay, it
can collapse slightly. – [Bernadette] This is an adventure. – [Cathy] Earl Grey, ladies and gentlemen. The only way to fly. I probably should have run it through with tap water first, but we’ll see. Are you feeling lucky, Constance? (laughing) – [Bernadette] Would you be averse to it vaguely tasting like coffee? – [Cathy] Are you going
to risk the creamer? – [Constance] I think I’ll have it black. – [Bernadette] Ladies and gentlefolk, no matter how many years of experience you have with these things… – [Cathy] Uh, eight. – [Bernadette] Never enough. – Oh, has it tripped again? Yeah, it’s tripped again.
– [Cathy] Oh. – [Bernadette] We have
relocated to the bathroom because we kept shorting
out the electricity. Nine years later. – [Cathy] What time is the pool party? – [Bernadette] 7. Wow, that’s…… full. – [Cathy] You may need a straw, Constance. I think you’ll agree that’s a masterpiece. (laughing) – [Bernadette] This is true
British artistry right here. (suspenseful music) (recording rewinding) – It’s 5:30 AM in England. – Oh no. – I like to try to get to bed pretty early and not stay up too late. That gives me a chance
to just calm down a bit and let my mind settle,
which is one of the ways I can pace myself, so this is the point where I’ll sort of start tidying. So, it’s sort of resetting for tomorrow. Drink lots of water, also good. Okay, what’s my focus tomorrow? What are the two or three things that I want to make sure I do tomorrow? What even is the one thing, that even if I achieve
nothing else tomorrow and just spend time hanging
out, chatting to people, what’s the one thing I want to make sure I go and attend or do or get involved in? So, that’s what I’m doing now. This was Thursday, goodnight! Good morning, it’s Friday morning. I think I’m already a
little worse for wear, but you know, I’ve come from the other side of the
world, so that’s okay. I’m a little jet lagged,
I’m a little tired. I’ve had about six hours of sleep and then went and swam, so I’m
feeling extremely chilled out or maybe just tired, I have no idea. This afternoon and evening is
going to be fairly full-on, so a chilled morning is kind of vital. Again, this is what I said
about setting intentions. The major things for
today to focus on are, we have a meet-up for
all the YouTube ladies in the lobby at 3 o’clock, and
then the social this evening. You’re already… Ironing your veil for
tomorrow night, aren’t you? – [Bernadette] Yes, whoosh. – [Cathy] Whoosh. We are engaged in the act
of strategic peopling. This is how introverts do Costume College. We are choosing to have
plenty of quiet times, and now, we are strategically going down and being seen and being around when we know it’s going
to be reasonably busy and we’ll see lots of people. – [Bernadette] Not that we
don’t want to see people. – No, but we want to see
people strategically. – Yes. – So if we are around at particular time when lots of people are around, then we can concentrate the peopling. – Yes. – [Marika] So yeah, this
is the foundation layer, and then I have my first
closure, my second, third. – [Cathy] This is amazing.
(crowd chattering) – Fourth, and then fifth. – That is very, yes. – Yeah, so I went all-out with this. – This is amazing. – And then on the sleeves, I actually have my husband’s and my daughter’s constellations and my constellations.
– [Cathy] Oh, fantastic. Excellent, so as in your zodiac signs? – [Marika] Yeah, zodiac signs. – [Cathy] Okay, we’re going to do a historically accurate Worth, but we’re going to flat-line
it with TARDISes, that works. – [Marika] Oh yeah, I couldn’t resist. – [Cathy] Notice how this shape, the cording creates the shape. You can see the shape
going on there, yeah. – [Marika] I’m very happy with how this one turned out. – [Cathy] Yeah, that’s
good, pride in your work. See, this is what is possible. – [Marika] Yeah, yeah. – [Cathy] Despite the fact
that you’re very proud of it, would you still say that it’s not perfect? – Oh, it’s not perfect by any means. There are so many things that I’ve learned from making this one, but this is my, I think, ninth corset I’ve made, and there’s still so many things that I’m learning every single time and that, I don’t think,
will ever stop, so. – [Cathy] But it is possible to be proud of your work.
– [Marika] It’s beautiful, though, oh, I’m extremely proud of it. – [Cathy] Without it being perfect first. – Yeah, I’m very proud of it. (laughing)
– [Cathy] Good. We have a meet-up at 3 o’clock. It’s about 25 to, and I’m just, we’re just having, again,
punctuating the socialising with just, {exhale}, calm down, so we can never get
overstimulated too much. Come back to our rooms. Bernadette’s looking at her video footage. I’m just freshening up a bit, ready for this meet-up,
which basically for me involves putting more concealer on. So, this is it. We’re going to be going
down and doing this meet-up. We’ll see how many people show up. I’m wearing pretty much the outfit that I wore in Bernadette’s train video, when we went on the stream
trains in Loughborough, so I hope that will be recognisable. People seem to recognise me, but that would help, I thought, so, also, my ribbon stream now… That’s one of my favourite
things about Costume College, it’s the fun ribbons, because
they help you socialise. I think I’m ready to go. I think, nearly ready to go. (upbeat music) (dramatic orchestral music) And now, PJs and tea.
– [Bernadette] Sleep, yes. – Good morning, it’s Saturday morning. I’ve been watching Noelle’s
daily vlogs from Costume College and feeling the difference between being an introvert and an extrovert, because Noelle is very much the extrovert. I’m looking at all that she’s fitting in and all that she’s doing and feeling like, wow, I’m not getting as much out of this as she is because she just has the energy to be out there so much more, and it also may be
giving you the impression that, no, you could never do this because you’re an introvert. There are different ways
to do Costume College. If you’re an introvert, you
can do it at your own level and choose, like I was
saying, set intentions and be very strategic about
exactly what you want to do and what is not so important to you so you get out of it what you need. You don’t have to do everything in order to get the value out of it. A) First thing I’ve learned this year is, well, I need to come in earlier and not make it so hard on myself by trying to fly in and fly out again. I make this hard for myself. Surely, you know the feeling. Wow, I can do it this way or
I could do it… the easy way! And… I lost my train of thought again. See, this is what it’s like. Nope, it’s gone. Today’s all about the Gala. That’s the focus, that’s
the number one priority. Other than that, I would usually
be teaching this morning. I’m having a bit of a
year off from teaching, except from doing that one class with Lauren and Abby and Cindy. So, this year, it would be nice to actually go to a class or two. There is a class this morning about Worth, which is one of my great obsessions. It’s between midday and 2:30, so it gives me an opportunity to have a very long, lazy morning, and then to have time to come
back and prepare for the Gala. Other thing I’ve learned,
if you’re an introvert and you’re coming to Costume College, get a room on a high floor,
(traffic roaring) because the noise down
here from the traffic is unbelievable, especially
if you live in the country and this is unusual for you to be a city, so top tip for Costume College, if you’re a quiet person,
go for a high floor. And that’s all I have to say for now. But rest assured, if you’re
watching Noelle’s vlog and seeing the extrovert
version of Costume College, that’s not the only way to do it. You make Costume College your own, depending on what your interests are and what your energy level is and how many thousands of miles
you’ve travelled to be here and how different your time
zone is, so it can be done. I am overachieving. Look at me, I’m going to a class, hey. I’ve got this down. (laughing) – [Bernadette] Wait. What were we talking about like, before we got into aliens and advertising? – We were talking about teaching classes. – Oh, yeah! – It was actually fun
for me to go to a class about something I know about,
but the best part about it was they own original Worth gowns, and they brought two with them. “So, here are some museum gloves. “You want to handle a Worth gown? “Can you like, take care of
that gown over there for us, “Cathy, while we take care of this one?” And it was really cool, looking
at this gown with everybody and discovering it and
noticing things about it and looking at, ooh, does it have a pocket and what kind of pocket does it have and what’s the waistband like? When we look at Dior dresses and think about, you know, 20th century couture techniques Dior was using old Victorian techniques. And that is what we think of
now as “couture techniques”, the stuff that Dior was doing. – [Bernadette] Well, you
know, it’s actually like– – he got from Victorian dress. – One of the projects that’s
been in the back of my head is to do a reconstruction of
like, a 1950s couture thing from the mindset of, you
know, historical dressmaking, ’cause there’s a lot of handwork in that. – Yeah, there is. – It’s a lot of, you know, traditional historical techniques. How similar are they? – Yeah. – That would be an interesting project. One day, when I eventually
want to branch out from strictly pre-World War 1. – Yeah. (calm music) (laughing) It is happening! (inspiring music) I think we’ve made the most
of Saturday, don’t you? – [Bernadette] Yes, I think so. – It’s time to wind down,
which can be challenging when it’s been a really great night and you really need to go to sleep and you are very tired, but you’re also very
excited and on a high. So, I’m going to go and do the
same thing I did last night. Get on the floor. I find yoga very useful
because, when there’s a lot of tension or anxiety or
you want to calm down, it’s kind of hard to calm down your mind, but it can be easier
to calm down your body. If you can get the anxiety
or the pent-up energy out of your body, it helps
get it out of your mind, so I find one of the
shortcuts to calming down is to get myself into a physical position that automatically starts to calm me down, so that’s why I say lying on the floor or lying in child’s pose,
great way to calm down, so I’m going to do that now. You just like, kneel like that. Your feet flat. Your knees wide, and just lie forward. I’m no yoga teacher, but like this. – [Yoga Instructor] Knees fairly wide, extending your right arm off to the left underneath your left arm. – I’m better with the people now. I’m getting over the culture shock, but it’s Sunday morning and I’m
very, very physically tired. We were up ’til about midnight and I really am going to
do very little this morning because I have a class that
I’m co-teaching at lunchtime. On days when I teach, I do try to get as much rest as I can in the morning because I’m really committed
to giving my absolute best, and just before that,
there will be a meet-up for Stitchlings, our Foundations
Revealed members, at 12:30, so that will be taking
place first and then we’ll be going into… My class, our class. I *will* be “compos mentis” by then. Right, it is time, we’re
having a Stitchlings meet up for all the Foundations Revealed people. Cindy is bringing some
of her extant corsets from the Redthreaded collection, so. – [Bernadette] Look at the
lighting in this elevator. – It is pretty good, isn’t it? – Anyway, you were saying? – Anyway, yes. Okay, let’s do this. – [Woman] Hey, Cathy. – [Cathy] Hey, how are you doing? – [Cynthia Settje] Then
there’s this pretty little one. (crowd chattering) I want to hand this one around because I want you all to feel how lightweight this corset is. It feels like *nothing*, and that’s something that
you really don’t understand until you hold an extant one, right? And you’re just like, it
feels like a piece of paper. But this one is whalebone. That one’s steel. This one, this is like 1890s, I believe, and I’m just going to… – [Student] Oh, it’s bent. – [Student] It’s so small. – The busk is bent. – This busk is bent into
that nice belly curve, but the busk is really thin
and really, really light. And there’s a tonne of
staining on this poor thing, which is part of why I don’t mind handing this one around, you know? It’ll be fine. – [Bernadette] It looks
like a frosted cupcake. – [Marika] That was my intention. – With the white like, crimpy ruffles. – [Morgan Donner] I think
I was about a thousand in, so you were getting some good traction. – I was following you both
when I had zero subscribers. (laughing) – Yeah. Anyways, okay. (recorded piano music) – {singing scales} Nay nay
nay nay nay nay nay nay nay. Nay nay nay nay nay nay
nay nay nay nay nay nay. – [Voice coach] And you can
just – great chord! – and again. (crowd chattering) – Finding a group of people, finding out what they
need, what they want, and satisfying that need, that’s what they’ll give you money for, rather than them doing me the favour of paying me so that I can do my hobby. It’s about them, not about you. Well, it is Sunday
night and it’s all over. It always seems to be
over really suddenly. You’re in the middle of it and then suddenly, boom, everybody’s gone. – Well, we all went out to the pool and we sat out there for,
admittedly, a couple of hours, but when we walked back into the hotel, back into the lobby, it was weird because it was like, suddenly, it was a normal hotel with like, muggles, no people in bustle gowns
crowded around bars. – How was your second
year at Costume College? – It was a lot better than last year, because last year, I felt like, well, I had no clue what was going
on, I was very confused. You were the only person I knew here. So, like, I didn’t really know anyone. I’m also a highly anxious
human being, so I was like, at my nerve’s end, pretty much from like, Friday afternoon, which
is like, the whole time, up through the end of the weekend. Yeah, this time I felt
like I had a better concept of what was going on. I knew more people, so
it felt more comfortable. Yeah, I felt overall pretty decent. – Good. – Yeah, this time, which
I wasn’t expecting. I was expecting, I went into
this weekend fully expecting to be at my nerve’s end,
but like, prepared for that, but I don’t think I was. – Good.
– Yeah. – The warmer the climate, the
colder the air conditioning. – I mean, I was sitting in
class literally shivering. Today, I was prepared. Today, I wore socks over
stockings under my wool skirt, as I do in the winter in New York City, and I was still cold, but
better than yesterday. – Having discussed the climate. – The weather, as we do in Britain. – You are now an honorary Brit. – Thank you. – I shall anoint you with my teaspoon. – Oh, you are literally serious, okay. – Yeah.
(laughing) You are now British.
– I’m honoured. How did you feel this year? – It was quite an unusual year because I was in a
connecting room with you. Usually, I am very
isolated in my own room. It was rather lovely
to have one main person who I was hanging out with. – Yeah, that was nice, because it also felt like,
when I was in my room, I didn’t feel isolated. Like, last year, I felt like
whenever I was in my hotel room even though I needed that space, I felt like I was missing, like, I should have been downstairs because I was missing something. I feel like if you go
into Costume College, and this is difficult to
do if it’s your first time, because you don’t know what to expect, but this year, I felt like, you know, I could go into Costume
College with goals. What do I hope to achieve
at Costume College? Not like, take all of the classes, but like, what I wanted
to do at Costume College, the reason why I was going, was to meet people who watch my videos, because I feel like now a
lot of people are coming because of the vlog, so like, connect with people
personally and to see you, because I only get to see
you a couple times a year. Both of those were achieved, and so even though I didn’t
take all of the classes, I still feel like it was very successful because I met a lot of people and I got to live with you for four days. – Yeah. Just to watch, as an observer, as a business owner in this space, and get an overview of
where are we as a community, where are we going, what
are people interested in, and that’s my thing and your thing. So, we love looking at like,
the 35,000 foot big picture, and like, ooh, I see where this is going. – Let’s analyse some stuff. – Let’s analyse stuff. – Let’s fly across the country just so that we have stuff to analyse. (laughing) Okay, so, last year
(emotional music) at Costume College, you
asked me, would I come back? And I said probably not. Maybe it will be like an
every other year thing, but like, it was a long
weekend, it was very stressful, it was a long way to come,
it was very expensive for me because I did it last minute. Don’t do that, book early. It wasn’t until I got home and I realised, it just sunk in, like, how many other people in this
costuming community there are, doing amazing things, and I just like, had this intense wave of
inspiration for like two weeks, and I just permitted myself. I didn’t say like, oh, I
have other stuff to be doing. I can’t sew right now,
but I just let myself stop everything and just work on stuff. Whatever I felt inspired
to do for two weeks, and well, part of that was the
walking skirt adaption video that I had been putting off for years that I finally did because I
had the inspiration to do it, and that video ended
up building my channel, but that’s, that’s– – It was your first viral video, yeah. – Yeah, that’s a different story, so the thing that– – So, really it’s been a big
part in the whole year of– – Yeah, well, the thing
that determined like, what made me realise,
like, I need to come back. This thing is actually
kind of more important than I realised at the time, is that, yeah, that wave of inspiration, so I’m hoping that will happen again, and despite how tired and exhausting and overwhelming the weekend is, still is, I was just saying to you in
the elevator on the way up. Like, I do still feel kind
of like withdrawal right now. Like, it’s Sunday night, everyone’s gone, but do I get to wake up and
go to class tomorrow again? Like, I’m exhausted and I
shouldn’t be doing that, but like, I kind of want
to, but I kind of don’t. Like, I miss it. – So, packing and home tomorrow. And onto the next thing. I think that’s a good place to fade out – Okay. (giggling)

100 Replies to “Costume College 2019 || The Introvert’s Guide (ft. Bernadette Banner)”

  1. Thank you for your patience, everyone! This is my longest and most complex video to date, and it was a labour of love. Many thanks to my YouTube coach, a certain Ms Banner, who cheered me on, gave me valuable feedback, and saw me through to the final upload!

    Oh, and btw, the pants with suspenders that everyone's asking about:

  2. Thank you so much for your take on Costume College. I was saying to Noelle that I had a hard time to imagine myself there someday because… Switzerland, shyness and my lack of confidence in my sewing skills. But you all tempt me so so much! I am sure I would meet awesome people there. Well… Maybe someday. Thank you again. Best wishes!

  3. Thank you, I loved this video so much. 🙂 I have watched a few of the vlogs so far and I am glad I got to yours now.
    Also: You have made me realise part of why I found FantasyCon (Fantasy books, authors etc con) in Chester, UK so stressful and exhausting last year. If I can manage it this year I shall aim to make more space, set intentions and take my time. It is easy to push too hard when you are an introvert going to an event with lots of extroverts. ^^;
    Also: I loved your costumes which I got glimpses off.

  4. Ms. Cathy…I do believe this Texas Girl has fallen in love with you, M'am. You and Bernadette are such a beautiful pair of human beings. I do believe I'd pay money to have the chance to hang out with the two of you…even though I am not anywhere near as seriously interested in sewing or historic clothing as the two of you. I do believe, though, I shall have to put the possibility of visiting you on my Bucket List. …for no other reason than to enjoy a cup of tea and some quiet time with you, soaking up some wisdom and building an honest relationship. You are a rare human, Ms. Cathy. Rare and real. Thank you for being just who you are. (deep curtsy)

  5. Thank you so much for this beautiful vlog. I've been so anxious about flying from Australia to the UK for the conference of corsetry and about everything that is involved. I'm hoping I can use a lot of these tips to help me survive and enjoy it. I love the idea of adopting another introvert buddy as well! Thanks so much xoxo

  6. Thanks for making it easier for introverts that are only just joining the community and aren't sure how to go about it.

  7. You are absolutely correct, the idea of costume college sounds amazing but it looks sooo overwhelming! Your advise seems great for many events, thank you!

  8. This video was tremendous! Such a lot of thought seemed to have gone into it. For myself, I don’t think I would like having to finish off clothes that I was due to wear at the next ball or whatever, a couple of hours before. Very stressful! Everything for me would have to be completely finished before I left this country. I would refuse to watch any ‘modern dancing’. I cannot bear the mindless bobbing up and down! Having said that, I would love to go! The trouble is that I am disabled and find doing things on my own is impossible. So, I rely on your fabulous videos to transport me there!

  9. Thank you! I’ve always been the type of person to do my own thing. Now I’m realizing by watching your video that it’s really my way of controlling my exposure to people and stress levels. Thanks for showing a different side to this!

  10. Thank you Cathy. I am going through the worst possible time of my life and watching someone who identify with so much is really making me more accepting of myself and makes my strongly introvert nature not feel like such a flaw, but instead something I just need to embrace and accept.

  11. Thank you Cathy for a lovely video. I found this to a very moving video. I have been thinking a lot the last week about how I as an introvert and a person with chronic fatigue and anxiety interact with people generally and I have found this video to be incredibly helpful. Also I love that the Worth gown was lined with TARDIS material.

  12. "I'm extremely chilled out… or just tired, I have no idea." I relate, that's totally me! I need lots of sleep and there's a threshold of sleep deprivation, which I attain fairly quickly, beyond which I like to say "too tired to get upset". Always see the silver lining, I guess! But more seriously, lovely vlog, you did an awesome job at sharing the experience! Thank you!

  13. I am so very thankful Ms Banner introduced me to you. You are so very calming and encouraging. You are truly a beautiful person. Mayhap, someday, I'll be fortunate enough to attend Costume College.

  14. This video makes me feel like I might be able to make it through a costume college weekend. I've only traveled for one convention and it was one of the worst times I've had. That weekend put me off of big gatherings in general. Thank you for sharing a different perspective!

  15. What a lovely, sweet, endearing, wise, well-paced and beautiful video!! You and Bernadette put such a smile on my face; as a fellow-introvert, I so enjoyed vicariously experiencing costume college through both of your channels – and I think I shall be borrowing the term "peopling" for my own use!

  16. Such a beautiful and wise guide on how to get the most out of life while protecting ourselves within. We introverts take out time to do our very best when we do a talk or lecture, and as we do not tell anyone, it does so good seeing you, sharing your experience. Thank you so much!

  17. Here I was, a little melancholy on this rainy Saturday afternoon, and up pops Mistress Hay like the Fairy of Happiness 🙂
    And thank you for a little fix of Ms. Banner, because I miss her so <3

  18. "Nope! It's gone." I have never felt such relief in relating to a person. If you can't chase the thought. It has to come to you. No remorse just carry on.

    As a person with ADHD this happens to me all the time. Often mid sentence. Thank you for putting that in the video.

  19. This was such a beautiful video, thank you so much for making it! So many parts of this are resonating deeply with me right now, I appreciate the advice, and will definitely need to rewatch this before my next CoCo trip!

  20. Thank you! This is the kind of CoCo that I would attend, if I was ever in the opportunity to do so. Thank you also for your soothing voice.

  21. Times like these I need that option to👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 and maybe a 🧡 also.

    Thank you for a lovely video crammed with great advice. Please never stop. You have so much to share.

  22. Fantastic video. Great advice, lovely to watch. And thank so much for listing all the amazing people in the video whose costumes I have also admired in the rest of your lady gang YouTube videos.

  23. As a fellow introvert who has ended up wrapped in a curtain in the corner of the room sometimes to avoid crowds, let me thank you and bless you from the bottom of my heart! I have trouble even attending church because my social anxiety is so bad. You have given me many good tips for getting through important social situations that I do care about and want to attend. Thank you so much!

  24. Thank you so much for this video. It was incredibly inspiring for me and I felt myself relating to it so much. Also, the editing was superb!

  25. Are you allowed to take a travel kettle to these hotels? I have a brilliant one from Argos that has gone all over Europe with me. I also take my tin enamel mug on holidays. I feel so upset seeing you struggle with the tea. I know some people don’t get it but a good cup of tea really helps you get through the day.

  26. I find it helps to make a BFF at any conference or convention who is similarly introverted, and with whom I can really connect. I need a lot of space but I also find in-depth one on one conversations very restorative after the chaotic energy of the general conference and meeting lots of new people, etc. Can be fun, and always good to meet interesting and talented people, but also exhausting when it's so many people and not much chance to really deeply connect with people.

  27. Thank you very much for providing insights into how to handle big conference-y things for introverts! I especially appreciate the intentionality of approaching masses of people with a specific goal – well done!

  28. Such a lovely video! I work from home too and I can go weeks with only the Internet as my only social contact so I understand how overwhelming people are. The editing is great and another perspective on Costume College is wonderful.

  29. I'm assuming costume college is an 18+ or 21+ thing, so I will be thinking of my costume ideas and preparing starting now. In either four or seven years, I will be there, mark my words!

    The video was great, you give stellar advice ❤

  30. Today has been terrible (I've done something to a muscle on the underside of my spine, so I've been in bed all day, and I just learned my access to pain medication for my chronic pain is being heavily restricted) and I wanted to wait to watch this video in case anything got worse. Ms Hay, I must say thank you very kindly, for I am reasonably calm for the first time in about 15 hours.

  31. My goodness, I watched Noelle’s vlogs daily, then I watched Bernadette; Morgan & Marika’s Q&A came next & all the while I kept thinking that I was so similar to Noelle which in personality, is 100% true! However: I have multi autoimmune diseases with Chronic Fatigue, & I felt this big let down due to being in a flare here at home & realizing I could never attend CC b/c I want to do it all, which is how I used to live. My husband & I don’t have children, plus we both studied & worked hard to afford the lifestyle we wanted not only for ourselves, but my niece & nephew who call me “mom”. It is vital to me that they experience the world & things that their parents (mainly my older brother) don’t care if they see or do. So we did what we wanted, when we wanted! Now; my whole life revolves around how much I can accomplish in a day without going so far that I ruin my next day. I explain it as though I’m walking on a tightrope & trying not to fall off where there is no net, only a flare that will end with me stuck in bed for a week or more. I guess I’m just trying to say, your viewpoint on CC, the way you approach it, the idea that I don’t have to do it ALL to gain something spectacular out of it: maybe I would be able to attend? Plus you & Bernadette should make it a much longer vacation, fly to our home in Indiana where we live on water & have a multi-level deck, a large fire pit down on the “beach”, a ski boat & pontoon boat (adrenaline vs. picnic & relaxation 😂), then the flight is less than 4hrs!! Honestly, I very much appreciated your advice, tips & tricks. Even extroverts have anxiety, I have ever since childhood. We just all deal with it in different ways. Thank you for showing another side to large conventions. Illness can take over your life however; I can be miserable at home or I can go do something I love & enjoy which usually makes me feel much much better. You are as wise as you are beautiful Cathy Hay! 🤗💜😘🦋

  32. Thank you for making this video for us. As an extrovert married to an extreme introvert you have provided a glimpse of how I can help my husband survive such occasions. And you and Bernadette are so like sisters. (Not that I have a sister for reference.) So refreshing!

  33. This is the sweetest, most loving video. I definitely empathize with team introvert. CoCo seems so intimidating, but I really like this approach. Maybe some day I’ll muster the courage to come to CoCo too.

  34. Came to watch Cathy but when it came to behind the scenes of the Morgan/banner/enchanted rose vlog episode… well I was gone, TOO MUCH just too much for me. Need to look up that yoga pose as I need calm 🙂

  35. I do have one lingering question, though. You made a quick mention when looking over the Worth gown about whether or not it had pockets and if so, where they were. And, I guess I’d like to know if it did…

  36. Cathy, what a great video as usual. I love your commitment to using yoga techniques to help manage your stress. Do you use an app or some sort of subscription for yoga when you're on the road?

  37. This was such a lovely video and I really do want to go to costume college but it is scary. I'd likely be coming by myself, and I am painfully anxious and shy. I'm also battling chronic pain so I would definitely have to take breaks. It is nice to see the quieter side of CoCo.

  38. I believe I might have slightly fallen in love with your Gentleman Jack Ms. Hay. As always so inspiring and uplifting to see your videos. Thank you for this

  39. I never met you but from this video you seem like the nicest and most loveliest person to be around. I am sure everyone could be happy to have a Cathy in their live. Lots of love from Germany!

  40. This was an unusual but very lovely video from you, I think. I'd enjoyed it very much. Bernadette and you are so close to each other, it seems like soulboundery of the finest kind. The video ist very good filmed and cutted, the choices of musik were chilling. Thank you for your perspective of Costume College, which was a real bonus!

  41. That was another wonderful take on CoCo. As a used to be extrovert turned much more introvert after 15 years of slowly adopting many of my wonderful autistic son's quirks, I appreciate all the sharing and tips that you impart. They work not just for events like this, but also just in regular life. It was lovely to see all of the other You Tube ladies (Bernadette, Marika, Noelle, Morgan etc.) in all their grandeur and your scandalous undergarments, Lady Moriarty, and Gentleman Jack costumes were amazing. Thanks again for your advice and wisdom. Take care of you.

  42. Every time Cathy and Bernadette put their faces together i think they're mother and daughter. They look alike. Your friendship gives me warmth.

  43. This introvert is taking a well anticipated solo vacation to France and your neck of the woods next month, and I’ve been slowly convincing myself that I don’t have to have every sixty seconds planned out with things to do—so I’m feeling well justified from your words of wisdom. And I’m quite pleased to add to that your technique of asking myself to decide on my top priority for the next day instead of holding fast to a serious itinerary!

  44. Costume College officially on my bucket list. I can understand how fired your senses must be. I'm an introvert myself, I live in the countryside and enjoy it not being so peoplely. I love how you were feeling inspired to go take a class, cut to you and Bernadette sitting on the bed drinking tea looking just done. It was so peoplely! Lol anyway loved your video. Thanks for all the survival tips. I hope someday to make it to costume college.

  45. This was my first time at Costume College. As much as enjoyed it & especially meeting you, Bernadette and Constance, I needed a reset afterwards. I went to Sequoia National Forest and hiked 4 miles up a mountain to camp out.

  46. I'm so grateful for the parts in your video where you show yourself calming down from all the socializing. I have to do that when I go to big events too, because I'm introverted and on the autism spectrum, and a lot of people still don't understand. Thank you for proving that it's not crazy or selfish to take a step back to breathe and collect yourself!

  47. This really helps. I went to CoCo 7 years ago and haven’t gone back (yet) because it was both so overwhelming and at the same time kind of lonely. But I think I might be ready to try again . . .

  48. It was worth the wait Cathy.and yes , we have been waiting patently! Loved your view on coco .and the gems you just drop in are always priceless. Thank you, thank you. I may have to slip this onto my bucket list, too.

  49. Hello Cathy. A new subscriber here. I have added you to my must watch videos along with Ms. Banner, Costume Drama, Enchanted Rose, Morgan Donner and more. I feel like I've added a YouTube version of a Costume College ribbon to my collection.

  50. Thank you for posting this. This is really great advice on how to handle people that can be easily applied to every day life. As a fellow introvert who's struggle with this constantly, I thank you.

  51. This video is fantastic and the advice it contains is so so valuable and also relevant to many different situations us introverts find ourselves in in life. It was really cool to follow along with you on this weekend and see how you handled the ups and downs of the event. I always struggle with that feeling of not doing as well as or getting as much value out of something as extroverts do, and then making myself feel bad about it. It was really inspiring to see your experience, thank you so much for all the hard work and for sharing it with us xx 🙂

  52. Thanks for your behind the scenes. And seeing you and Bernadette in your under-things, I was like: this is the Victorian version of a pyjama party 🤭

  53. thank you for such a lovely video ! perfect for a chill evening but also very inspiring !
    watching all these CoCo vlogs is giving me vicarious inspiration in a way ? i feel inspired and want to make stuff even if i didn't get the firsthand experience of being there, so thank you again !

  54. Thank you for an introvert's guide to a people-filled event. I appreciate all the tips you had for keeping your balance and calm.

  55. I love this. After Noelle's fun, but intense vlogs, it's lovely to see a fellow introvert's view of CoCo. I can't wait to make it there but I will endeavor to remember that I don't need to and shouldn't try to do it all.

  56. You and Bernadette have been such an inspiration to me to work on my technical skills and go to CoCo2020. Hope to see you there ^^

  57. Thank you very much for this video! It was super helpful!
    Being an introvert who also has asperger's and chronic illness (chronic pain and fatigue), I always felt like multi-day conventions were no option for me. I still don't think Costume College is possible for me for now (I'm from the Netherlands, so the trip alone would be too much for me), but I will keep your tips in mind and try to apply them if I ever dare to try a multi day convention more locally. 😀
    And it's also very eye-opening to see the other side of a convention. I love watching videos of costume college and other events, but when people show only the excited stuff I never realise people can (and do) take breaks in between too, to recharge.

  58. Is it crazy that I recognise some of my own coping techniques for going to geek conventions? Thank you for letting us, especially me, know that we are not strange for needing time to decompress after travel, space after socialising, and goals for the day. Also, the tidying up at the end of the day, that is completely me. It really does help.

  59. I would love to dip my toe into CoCo, can you come for one day? Also, can people just come into the lobby to see the costumes and go to the market place? It was reassuring to see people who did not dress in costume, that would totally overwhelm me.

  60. It's been so interesting to see different peoples experience of costume college! As an Anxious Introvert™ who has to be able to plan for any and every eventuality it's actually so cool to be able to see the actual reality of all the things you read on the CoCo website and the pictures on instagram!

  61. I'm a fairly new follower of Bernadette's and this is the first video I've watched on your channel (I came here because I watched Bernadette's Costume College Vlog). I think you two are kindred spirits. The way you are with each other is so heart-warming. I have to subscribe to you now, too. Hello from Suffolk!

  62. Thank you for creating this video and sharing your time at Costume College. As an introvert who just came back from a conference (albeit a technology one) I totally related to many of the things you talked about and I've taken away so many tips and inspiration from your video to help me at my next conference. thank you!!

  63. Thank you for this, your videos are soothing and make me emotional. I love your relationship with Bernadette you both really lighten up when you're together and it's lovely to be able to witness it. I hope for you many (good) adventures to come.

  64. You both raise my favorite introvert tip around 26:00 – go with an introvert buddy! Having someone at an event with whom I'm comfortable, and who understands the introvert life, is so important. I love that you are both one another's introvert buddies.

  65. Im an extrovert but i have social anxiety, so I'm capable of going to conventions but i hate every second of it because i stick out like a sore thumb.

  66. LOL, Cathy! I love your little quip about your curated veneer of elegance whilst chatting to the internet in your pajamas! This vlog was delightful to watch from a fellow creative introvert. Much as I appreciate Noelle, watching costume college through her eyes made me exhausted from afar. Your Introvert's Guide makes me think I really COULD survive CoCo (or a similar event) without spending half my time melting down. So I want to sincerely thank you for sharing!!

  67. I am an extroverted introvert with social anxiety. Have any tips for dealing with large crowds of unknown people?

  68. Hoping to make next year my first year at costume college but have been overwhelmed with the thoughts of crowds… I am fairly agoraphobic. I figure its a bit easier when its people that have similar interests … but still peopling is hard. I appreciate your introvert survival videos <3

  69. I just wish I could hear you. Earbuds help, but you are so softspoken that the computer on full blast still isn't enough. And I'm the one who can't stand loud noises.

  70. I’ve been intending to follow your channel, but this is the first video I’ve actually sat down and watched, and I love it! I love the way you give valuable advice and insights so calmly and reassuringly. I feel like I need you to teach me all about life now. 😅 Thank you for this, and I will now be making the time to slowly enjoy the rest of your wisdom. 💜💜💜

  71. "it's possible to be proud of your accomplishments without it being perfect" thank you. I just started sewing again last year. Not doing a comparison to what I see is hard. Social media makes learning easier but getting discuraged easier also.

  72. Interesting! I was wondering though about people who use their introversion as a shield and as a definer of individualism. It's apparent in some cases that it could be viewed as a form of elitism by those with a cynical eye. I say that because of a few little things I noticed during your exchanges with Ms. Banner.

  73. This really makes Coco seem do-able. Good reminders to step back and take a breather BEFORE sliding into Overwhelm. I travel with my electric tea kettle when possible, because a cup of tea solves everything.

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