Genius in a Lab Coat – (You Gotta Fund Me the Right Way)

Genius in a Lab Coat – (You Gotta Fund Me the Right Way)


Getting funded’s such a fight Grant writing on these lonely nights Waiting for someone to award me You’re readin’ my Aims, tearing proposals to bits But that don’t mean that I’m gonna quit My brain is saying, ‘let’s go!’ But my score is saying no! If you want hypotheses Baby, there’s a price to pay I’m a genius in a lab coat You gotta fund me the right way If you wanna cure disease I can make your wish come true I’ve designed a killer project ‘Cuz I like what I do! I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Gotta fund me the right way, honey I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Fund, fund, fund my grant, let me work Experiments runnning and reagents are low Renew my grant and we’ll be good to go Waiting for someone to review me Models, crystals, zapping cells with light Technological insights and new STEMM heights My brain is saying, ‘let’s go!’ But reviewers’re saying no! If you want hypotheses Baby, there’s a price to pay I’m a genius in a lab coat You gotta fund me the right way If you want technology I can make your wish come true For experimental data It all rests with you! I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Gotta fund me the right way, honey I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Fund, fund, fund my grant, let me work I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Gotta fund me the right way, honey I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Fund, fund, fund my grant, let me work My brain is saying, ‘let’s go!’ But the budget’s saying, “NO!” If you want hypotheses Baby, there’s a price to pay I’m a genius in a lab coat You gotta fund me the right way If you want to know the truth Baby, make my wish come true I wanna start my research program ‘Cuz I love what I do! If you want hypotheses Baby, there’s a price to pay I’m a genius in a lab coat You better fund me the right way If you want data today Baby, make my wish come true Labwork ain’t done for free, baby It all rests with you I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Gotta fund me the right way, honey I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Fund, fund, fund my grant, let me work I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Gotta fund me the right way, honey I’m a genius in a lab coat, baby Fund, fund, fund my grant Let’s get to work. Dedicated to all scientists-in-training. Thanks for the ride! –V.Y.C.

10 Replies to “Genius in a Lab Coat – (You Gotta Fund Me the Right Way)”

  1. Funny. Would you know where to find the parody of the grant rejection letter sent to Gregor Mendel for his pea plant research proposal? You would like it! Please let me know if you find it somewhere.

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