How a Coat of Plates Should NOT be Made

How a Coat of Plates Should NOT be Made

Hey, does this make me look fat? All right, so I just unboxed this body armor, which finally arrived after a week of inexplicable delays, and confusion, and having to call UPS twice because they have no idea what they are doing apparently. *sigh* But that’s a rant for another time. So…um yeah. This is made by Lord of Battles. They call it a Brigandine, but it really looks more like a poor man’s coat of plates. A coat of plates and Brigandine look similar at first glance. The Brigandine is a later development. It can look fairly similar. Here a few examples of a coat of plates and Brigandine. A Brigandine, as you can see, often has a larger number of smaller plates made of iron or steel. And it’s not sandwiched between layers of fabric, which, here, is the case. They just took rectangular steel plates of uniform shape and size, riveted them in the four corners, and…that’s that. It’s not very sophisticated. Now, it *is* comparatively cheap. This was only 165 US dollars if I remember correctly and for an armor reproduction that is comparatively cheap. Armor can get fairly expensive quickly, but… Even though they probably intended this to be used for Practice with blunt weapons–well, I say “probably”–Of course they didn’t make this to be used with actual sharp and pointy blades like crazy people. But… Either way, I can’t help but be frustrated by how much this fails as an armor design. I mean, you’ve got the plates here–I’m just gonna grab a hold of two plates, so you can see that– Right here, there’s nothing in between. Absolutely nothing in the center. I could have noticed that when looking at the pictures but I just…expected them to put another plate here. I couldn’t believe that this would just be left completely open, but…that’s what it is. So… This makes it highly inefficient against a variety of attacks with sharp blades in particular.
So on the original armor the plates overlapped, or at least were very close together.
In this case, between the individual plates, there’s at least a finger width of space
between these two–you know, not to mention this massive gap in the front here. So…I mean–sure, if a horizontal or vertical cut comes in–like this. Yeah, it’ll catch on one or more of the plates. In this case that actually went in between the plates
–or at least, that’s what it felt like. So, if you get hit in the right spot, it doesn’t hurt. Even if I whack myself fairly hard, it doesn’t bother me. Here, on the other hand, That’s not good at all because
the sternum is essentially exposed and direct hits on bone, of course, are not exactly fun times. Not to mention that the heart–even though the tip of the heart points to the left and more of the mass is on the left side,
a lot of it is actually in the center– So, the heart is largely unprotected with this. Which is a very strange choice. I mean, it’s a budget choice, let’s face it. And, of course, thrusts…yeah, no chance with this. I mean even if a thrust lands on a plate–if you’re unlucky, it’ll skid off and just go in between the gaps anyway. So… Thrusts will just go right through
as if this wasn’t even there. With synthetic practice swords like this,
that’s not a problem. They’re designed to flex. So if you take a hard thrust, you’d be okay. However, if you took a thrust with a stiffer blade right on the sternum… That would be painful to say the least. I will say that it’s pretty effective against blunt impacts in combination with the gambeson
because the hard plates dissipate the energy and the padding underneath cushions it. So, you can take reasonably hard hits to this and you’ll be fine. But I don’t think this should be called a coat of plates,
let alone a Brigandine. There’s nothing historically accurate about this.
The only historical thing about it, essentially, is the basic idea of smaller separate plates combined, as opposed to one solid breast plate.
But that’s about where it ends. Now, on the upside, it’s pretty comfortable to wear.
No complaints here. Now it gets pretty hot in here
and with the gambeson as well. I mean, the gambeson in it of itself already gets pretty hot, but this just adds yet another layer. So that’s the main source of discomfort. Otherwise, weight wise this is very light. I mean, this uses less steel than it should,
so, it’s really no big deal at all. It’s essentially like a like wearing a very sturdy, thick, winter coat. Something like that. And otherwise mobility. I know that this gambeson here does
restrict my mobility to an extent. Like…I can’t lift my arms higher than this. And of course there’s a certain amount of bulk to it. But it’s not that big of a deal so, it’s reasonably easy to wear. As far as getting into it and out of it, it can be a little finicky. I really don’t like that they put the straps–the buckle straps here–on the side. How many historical coats of plates were often closed in the back? Which is fine if you have someone to do that for you, but later Brigandines are quite often closed in the front. So this is where the straps
really need to be to make it easier. *This* is really inconvenient and fiddly,
so not really a fan of that. In fact, I’m going to show you
how easy or not easy it is to get out of here. So the lower ones are okay, generally. But the problem is I can essentially not see anything. Even if I crane my neck down,
I can barely see that one. The bottom one is fine. That one I can see, and
it’s not that hard to deal with. The top one I don’t know. I’m not even gonna bother with, because this is really hard to open that way, let alone close. And, the other major issue with this
is the opening for the head is…really narrow. I mean admittedly, I’ve got quite a large head,
but this is just crazy tight. Well, I just tried to get out of this without opening that top strap, but… Nope. Ain’t happening. Come on now. It’s so annoying. It really is irritating that they put that on the side.
Makes it much harder to deal with. I’m just gonna fiddle with this a bit longer,
and if I’m not getting anywhere, I’ll call Cara. Squire! There, got it. Okay. So… Now I have to contend with this problem here. I may choke and sculpt myself a little bit
trying to get out of here. So as far as the size is concerned,
this is supposed to be small/medium and the sizing is clearly given with padding in mind underneath. Because I generally have a size medium for clothing and even with the gambeson, this is still kind of large. And this is already on the smallest holes here. I can poke additional ones in there.
So, you can adjust it. But if you usually have a size small clothing then you need a pretty substantial gambeson to make this fit. Otherwise, it’ll be too large. It’s not heavy at all, but there aren’t too many other positive things I could say about it. It’s just…it falls flat as a reproduction
of this kind of armor. It doesn’t look much like it. The only worse [things] I’ve seen so far [are] the ones that just have leather rectangles on top which is even less protection. So, again, for practice with blunt swords, this may be just fine. And I can only imagine
that this is what they have in mind. But otherwise it’s just the poor man’s version. Anyway, for me, this was definitely a disappointment because I was looking for armor to do tests on, and this is just *waves hand dismissively*. It’s so far from historically accurate
that there isn’t much point to it. You can’t really draw any conclusions from a test like that.That would be just for entertainment alone. Which is all fine and good, but I was just hoping to get a little more out of it. And I mean, this would just be a gamble,
depending on where the bolt strikes, or the arrow, or the blade.
It may protect [you], or it may do absolutely nothing and
[the armor may] get completely bypassed. So… yeah, it’s not gonna be great for tests. Fortunately, I also [have] some other armor.
You’ll see that– –I was gonna say soon,
but who knows with the weather lately. It still been just impossible to find an opportunity
to actually record outside. But anyway, before it gets too rambly,
thanks for watching.

100 Replies to “How a Coat of Plates Should NOT be Made”

  1. Can you imagine what a period time Skall would do to the blacksmith who made that were we in history? Hehehehe, of course no blacksmith and armourer would have made this rubbish, but it's still funny to think about Skall's reaction.

  2. Well, I mean.. UPS is danish for Oops, which is the word you say, when you've made a mistake. So I find the intro to be self explainatory.

  3. Ups has the worst tracking ever, they either scan normally like they should or scan things twice over a couple of days or barely scan at all….. that is why I doubt delivery services will never evolve beyond an annoyance or a gamble espeically when low life Fuckers would steal packages off your porch…..

  4. I still don't know how to decide which part of the torso is the worse one to be hit. If you get hit in the chest the ribs would brake and could pierce lunges and heart and die instantly or after a short period of time.
    If hit in the abdomen … it would be painful and horrifying to have guts blood and shit leaking out of my belly and die slowly.

  5. I didn't bother watching the video because the thumbnail explained everything.
    Keep up the good fight for quality products Skal, be it fantasy or reproduction.

  6. Hola. Necesito de tu ayuda para documentarme acerca de un nasal helm poco común, característico de los Normandos del siglo XII.
    Si tienes facebook, o instagram, o mail, me gustaría enviarte unas fotografías para que puedas darme tu opinión. Me gustaría que pudieras poner subtítulos en español a tus videos, para poder tener una mejor experiencia. Aprovecho de felicitarte por tu canal, y que sigas subiendo más material de este tipo.

  7. I often look at many of the plate arrangements from the Visby find and consider them experiments in how NOT to make a coat of plates…

    …Or at least how not to make them comfortable.

    I mean, seriously, the articulation on some of them is just awful. Painful, even.

  8. What with movie companies taking huge liberties, creating myths & cheap knock-off companies trying to snare or fool the naive to make a quick profit, historical accuracy/authenticity is a rare commodity & usually costs royally.

  9. I've used a coat of plates almost exactly the same as the one featured in this video and I have found it fantastic. The only part I was worried with was the shoulders and that was easily fixed with light padding on the shoulders. I have never had a serious injury when using this type of coat of plates and would highly recommend it. The problems he raises in this video regarding the gaps in plates have never been a problem for me but it can easily be fixed with a chain mail shirt worn underneath.

  10. Steel plated (i know that's not the official name, but as a descriptor, it kinda fits) armor, positives:
    not as heavy as you'd expect, because it doesn't have as many steel plates as it should


  11. whats funny is that the gap in the middle would lead most people to think it's a perfect place for straps and buckles but no…. let's split the sides and leave an unprotected gap in the middle. what a great idea!

  12. What about bed stark and Jon's snow from got coat plate? It's rubbish as well as this one u wears in this video

  13. You and Shadiversity are teaching me so much about weapons and armour, it's great! I'm totally using it in my fantasy story that I'm writing. 🙂 Thank you!

  14. I mean… you would only get stabbed in the middle of the chest… and its not like you have anything important!
    I mean, right there you only got the descending Aorta, the main artery that leaves the body and its about 2 cms ( 1inch in freedom units) wide… ummm and the Ascending Cava vein, the vein that takes basically ALL the blood TO the heart, also about 2-3 cms in diameter (1 to 1 1/2inch) … and well, the heart…. oh, and the trachea….

    As i said, nothing too important

  15. 1:39 oh…. you mean to tell me i'm not suposes to sparr with sharpened blades…… oh…. that explains A LOT

  16. Yeah, you look like dead meat wearing that thing. Marketing such a product would have been unconscionable back in the day. Even now, come to think of it. That's capitalism for ya!

  17. You should rather have got a set of plates and assembled the coat yourself. It protects and moves better if you make it to fit your personal bod. And, it's cheaper.

  18. As an armorer. That is an embarrassment. Your gambeson should have gusseted armpits with arming points for maille underarm patches. This would allow you full range of movement over your head.

    This isn't really a coat of plates either. The plates are much too large and likely too thick as well. On historical jackplate the plates were not perfectly rectangular, but dished slightly, hardened, and slightly trapezoidal. The plates are fastened together with rings, and the plates overlap at the edges. There shouldn't be any gap where there is no metal covering your chest. Especially not along the center line of the torso. The rivets passed through the rings holding the padding of the jack to the plates via the rings. This allows for a full range of motion and prevents thrusts from slipping between the plates.
    Some people churning this stuff out have never laid hands on the real thing. Superficial examination of Hollywood armor, or museum "restorations" typically don't show the entire picture. Hollywood armor is often plastic or rubber made by… well not armorers.d Museum pieces are almost always missing the cloth and leather that actually held the armor together.
    Medieval and Renaissance armorer's would go to great lengths to protect their fabrication secrets and go so far as to put fake rivets in places where there is no actual articulation.

  19. Its a shame ice always liked brigandine armor would have liked to see a good one and see how effective it is

  20. I would love to have something like that would definitely have to modify with extra plating and chainmail down the middle to keep flexibility

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