I asked my Corporate Job if I could Wear the Men’s Uniform…

I asked my Corporate Job if I could Wear the Men’s Uniform…


*singing* I write the song. It’s 1:00 a.m.. I can’t believe that you are on my mind, you’re on my mind again. You’re on my mind again Take breath get out of bed do what I can to give these thoughts some light I’ll bring this back again I’ll bring this back again A–…gain… A–gain. *clap* Cool, cool, cool. Well, I got some news I asked my traditional, corporate day job if I could wear the men’s uniform to work. And guess what… They said yes! It was a lengthy-ish process, and I’m gonna tell you about it. But first! Because we need to pay the bills and eat food! I give you a sponsorship. *music* We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to let you know that this vid is being brought to you by… Amino! Oooohhh… Ahhhh… Many of you know I’ve worked with the lgbtq+ amino before but did you know there are distinct aminos for people who identify as lesbian Bisexual pansexual and even trans one of my favorite things about the trans amino Specifically is how closely monitored it is fun fact It’s a locked community that requires approval from the leaders in order to join this helps keep out the trolls However since most of you are either trans or allies the amino people hooked us up with a link that allows you to join right away other neat features on these apps include texture voice chat, custom avatar, chat, polls, quizzes, curated feeds of only the gayest and raddest content and sweet events that are happening in the community An event I shared was a talk that grace and I gave at the University of Omaha, Nebraska. I posted so many cute photos overall It’s just a great way to connect and meet potential friends so if you want to connect with me or a ton of other awesome Trans and/or queer folks you should consider downloading Amino all right back to the video Yeah, that’s over so for those unaware. I believe it or not have a proper full-time gig I don’t disclose my place of employment online and I’d appreciate If you didn’t guess in the comments some of you know what I do because you’ve run into me at work keep it secret keep It safe the reason my occupation is classified is because I’m actually Trump’s personal tweet approver and political correctness Liaison you didn’t know he had one of those. Did you I’m clearly very bad at my job No one can know I exist and no one does lol No, I’m really a dolphin in a human suit trying to overtake a man woman and non-binary kind by learning their weaknesses and destroying them [Dolphin sound] Just kidding I’m Hannah Montana or maybe I’m a mystery shopper who specializes in ice cream tasting That would that would be the dream gotcha again the truth is I’m a ghost this whole time you’ve been watching me I’ve never really been there, ooh Boo! Did I scare you? if I did, I’m a good ghost honestly I keep my job secret because I just really want some things to be private and separate from YouTube I need y’all not to know everything about me And I need some times and places in my life where I can go and feel like a regular Non blogger person this balance and sense of normalcy is important to me And I hope you can respect that that being said I will tell you a little about what I do I work in customer service, and I have a required uniform my company provides a few clothing options for its employees But like many places they are separated into two categories men’s and women’s the outfits are very professional Garments and in my opinion. They’re pretty gendered suits ties skirts pantyhose that kind of a thing for four years I was too afraid to rock the boat thus I showed up every day in a dress and heels a dress and heels Me in a dress in heels y’all wouldn’t recognize me. How did I do it? great question the answer is compartmentalization and Disassociation I didn’t view my uniform pieces as installments of my wardrobe But rather as parts of a necessary costume and when I wore the uniform. I wasn’t Ash I was work Ash. Work Ash is an alter ego/ coping mechanism Who is no-nonsense and entirely pragmatic she doesn’t care about regular Ash’s feelings or discomfort And she does whatever she has to to get things done sounds kind of unhealthy doesn’t it? Yeah So how did I get from there to? Where I am now well as the years progressed and people at my company got to know me I dipped my toes in the water Of testing oh you ordered the new dress looks good You know I actually think it’d be kind of cool to show up in the suit and tie it was always a real casual thing Just to colleagues and work pals no management at this point and almost always people would reply Oh, you should I say folks should wear whatever’s comfortable for them or my favorite ash, I think you’d rock it girl or Boy, or what whatever I mean My confidence in the guys outfit being a viable option for me started to grow then I booked my Top surgery. That’s right It’s scheduled. There’s a date, and I figured soon. I wouldn’t even have the boobs to fit into lady things Maybe it was time to turn my casual confessions of my personal desire into a formal inquiry So I sent Human Resources an e-mail disclosing my trans identity and asking if I could wear the clothes that would make me most Comfortable if you’re wondering how I found the point of contact for HR. I simply searched it on my corporation’s website That’s what I would do if you want to do that I don’t know and I had grace help me write the email because they work in HR And I didn’t know what the heck I was doing if you ever need or want to send an email like this I’ll kind of share what I wrote so you could maybe use it as a rough template in the message I told my company that I valued my position with them and that I was grateful to work there And I opened up in regards to my trans identity and went on to explain that because of who I am I might be more happy and Myself at work if I could make a change in what I was wearing on the job I emphasized that I cared about their input and approval which is why I was asking rather than just showing up in a tie Unannounced be like hey I’m cute I said that I would be totally open to having a dialogue with them about the matter if they wanted and I closed by offering Some times I was available to do so and the whole time my heart was beating so hard. See after this there was no going back I was irreversably outing myself to my superiors They could say no or I could decide I actually wanted to keep a rocking the dress it didn’t matter this was a permanent Admission regardless and that scared the crud out of me. I don’t want to pretend I was totally cool or Cavalier throughout the whole ordeal cuz I wasn’t now if you’re straight or cis or just Really brave it might be hard to comprehend Why I was so worried it may seem strange that I suppress the truth about what I wanted for so long to offer perspective I’ll share some quotes and information from a dope TED talk that sums up pretty well Where all my concerns were coming from in 2013 a Deloitte study found that 83% of LGBT plus employees admit to changing some aspect of themselves at work in order to here’s the kicker Not appear too gay this study found that even in companies with diversity policies and inclusion programs Queer folks struggle to be themselves at work because they believe that conformity is critical to their long-term career advancement And that’s how I felt like I said at the beginning of this video. I didn’t want to rock the boat I wanted to blend in and conform to what most of my colleagues were doing but somehow I had done it I had mustered the Courage to send the email that I had been thinking about sending for years And do you know what happened? a couple weeks later I hopped on a call with a hella friendly HR rep who basically said cool sounds good There was a short process involved. I had to answer some questions, fill out a form, let my personal manager supervisor guy know What was going on I was incredibly pleased though because it was ultimately Pushed back free and I didn’t have to prove anything or make a case for myself which was something I was originally worried about well from then to now has been a largely positive affair It hasn’t been a hundred percent without awkwardness or bumps I’m telling you this because I don’t want to do you the disservice of letting you set expectations for Perfect if you’re gonna try the same thing for example not every single person I encountered during this process was totally and expertly educated in the realm of transness Understandable as a result I was exposed to some dated language small faux pas here and there and a few Confusing questions it happens if I had to characterize the experience holistically however as say a percentage. I’d figure it went 95 percent perfectly and my company’s attitude was 100 percent open and accepting at one point my individual manager even called me on the phone Just to tell me how proud he was of me. How wholesome and cool. I’m still worried about some stuff I haven’t actually shown up in the suit yet, but it’s happening soon. I wonder if public restrooms will be weird I don’t think so. I don’t have an issue navigating restrooms in my normal life, and I wear suits I think I’m just worrying because I like to worry maybe I’ll email HR and enquire what to do if I encounter toilet troubles I Probably will do that also Unrelated to bathrooms a co-worker did recently asked me if I’m ready to answer all the questions I’m gonna have to face in general That made me nervous what questions, but it’ll be okay moral of the story asking for what you want can be scary but it can also be Totally worth it and sometimes people will surprise you by how open and chill they are I know I’m excited for Work Ash to retire and for real Ash to finally show up to work. Okay. Bye You

100 Replies to “I asked my Corporate Job if I could Wear the Men’s Uniform…”

  1. Im surprised there wasnt a pants option for women as well, already in place. There are lots of cis women/girls around who doesnt feel comfortable in dresses or skirts as well. I hope the standard in the future will be more options, even when uniformity is the goal. I am glad you were met with respect by HR and your superiors, tho. Lets hope this makes it even easier for the next person approaching them with a similar request.

  2. The spirit of pride…….i pray u get free from this spirit in jesus name…i bind it n cast ur spirit of pride n cast it into the abyss in jesus name

  3. Thankfully, my work uniform is, well, uniform: you have to wear black pants (yoga or nice, as long as they're solid black) and the blue shift you're provided (or other colors once you promote up, to make spotting the supervisors easier for the new hires). However, if it were required I wore dresses or skirts… Well, I'd feel not so comfortable. I'm a cis lesbian, but I can understand feeling not so me in dresses or skirts (not in Ash's sense, but feeling compelled to conform despite comfort, yes).

  4. I think you should be able wear whatever uniform you feel comfortable in. As a cis woman I would prefer to wear flats and trousers to work anyway and I dont understand why you would have to go through a whole process just to wear clothes…

  5. I'm sorry but you have a sponsorship ad and 2 other ads in 10 minutes and that's just makes it unenjoyable. I think that can stop others (just like me) from watching your videos, which are so rich in information and so helpful..
    Please think over if it is really worth it.

  6. 2:29
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    Haru: There you are _Dolphin_.
    Makoto: What are you talking about?
    Haru:… ……
    (Head Harus arguing)

  7. What a genuine and reasonable way to approach your issue. And as ever a reasonable approach led to a reasonable reply. Well done from a white cis man

  8. Yo, I’m a guy and I’m completely fashionistically challenged. I’ve watched like ten videos but I still cannot tie a bow tie for the life of me. You’ve gotta know about bow ties, my bro’s wedding is coming up

  9. As soon as you faded away making the ghost joke my crush I mean BEST FRIEND texted me her girlfriend broke up with her! Now Im going to go over to her apartment with Ben and Jerry's chocolate chunk ice cream….help.

  10. You said you're not a man and maybe we should stop gendering clothes. Can't people of any gender identity wear dresses? How are we going to end gender stereotypes if you keep perpetuating them?

  11. I don't know what I'd do if my job had gendered uniforms. I don't wear dresses. I will never wear a dress. But I also don't fit men's clothes at all.

  12. Wish I'd known about you when you were in Omaha Nebraska! Only 3 hours from here and I missed it!!! 😂

  13. Please. We all know Ash is REALLY a lil Fae, scouting out our mortal realm and expanding our wisdom with their enlightened views and general awesomeness.

  14. Im confused about my gender, but Im in chorus and I finally asked my music teacher if i could wear the boys outfit!

  15. It’s awesome it went ok and just realised this video was posted on my birthday last year too. I’m going to a new school for sixth form next year and although I’m Cisgender, I’m a lesbian and feel more comfortable in a shirt and tie, I’m currently debating as to wether to ask my new head of sixth form when I enroll in August if I can go there in a suit and shirt not the girls uniform of formal feminine dress, I have already asked one of the senior management who gave me a tour a few months ago but would like to ask her directly as she is going to be my first point of call staff wise for any issues since it’s such a small place 🏳️‍🌈

  16. Very annoyed that I didn’t find out about you/your channel until now. I effing live less than an hour from Omaha NE and unknowingly missed out on meeting Ash & Grace. FRICK.

  17. Hey Ash, thanks for sharing all this. From my perspective as a nurse, and a guy, I find this interesting. Back in the late 80's here in Australia, there was a big push from female nurses to be able to wear pants at work for all sorts of excellent practical reasons, but some staff still wanted the option of the old fashioned dress. HR got creative, and simply removed all reference to gender in the uniform options. Of course a couple of guys turned up in the pinafore dresses for a laugh, but soon you had people simply wearing what was their most comfortable choice. It also meant that trans staff had no problem from HR wearing whichever uniform option they found more appropriate.

    The other thing too, was all references to gender were removed from the toilets….they're simply marked "staff toilet". The only time you see shocked stares is when someone who isn't staff uses them!

  18. Hey ash I know you might not see this comment but I would really like your input on some videos and how I can make them both YouTube friendly and not show too much about my job like you did for so long, if you see this can you comment on one of my videos or somehow get a hold of me?? I was looking for a messenger thing on here but I can’t find one

    Thanks I love your videos ❤️

  19. The place my mom worked as a programmer and engineer in the 70s and 80s had the same exact uniform for everyone, regardless of gender or position in the company: a three-piece suit and tie. Honestly I think that's a really good move regardless of where you work or the political and social climate.

  20. Now that you’ve explained what your job was this makes so much more sense! I was trying to figure out what old fashioned type of place would make men and women wear vastly different outfits.

  21. OMG NOW I KNOW YOUR JOB TITLE THIS VIDEO REALLY HITS HOME. WE HAVE THE SAME JOB!!!! I’m thrilled your work was so good about it – I cannot imagine my work treating you as well. They get furious when I, a cis straight woman, do not appear “womanly” enough. I’m in a DRESS WITH HEELS, how many more stereotypical attributes do you people want?! I keep fighting the man though, one tube of lipstick at a time.

    Side note – I live in a different smaller country

  22. I hide as much of my disabilitys as I can.
    Cause I'm super afraid of the company Finding out how many there really are

  23. Opposite lol
    I started wearing tighter clothes like slim jeans & then got a few of the womens top unis. Only a few people knew i was changing over lol.

  24. I just applied to my very first job, and ai had a lot of anxiety about my queerness getting my application rejected because I live in the deep south, and that's legal, and it sucks This video helped out a lot. I luv ya Ash.

  25. had a moment in the intro where I thought, 'wait, did they say "we need to eat bills and pay the food"?' and rewound a few seconds to discover that no, my ears were just playing tricks on me.

  26. Hey ash, Im proud of you, Im a tomboy and Ive always wantsd,to wear a suite and tie, I only get to do it on Halloween. Yet, my parents want me to waer dresses and fance shoes(me inside) ew.

  27. Watching this video now (after your recent uploads) is so eye opening like I was confused as to what your job was (but privacy is important so I was respecting and not thinking too hard lol) but yeah tldr: Im proud of you

  28. I’m cis female but I love guys clothes, they’re so comfy and look really nice on girls too!
    Also glad it went well, I support u 100%

  29. Im a girl but I don't like being called a girl…I feel more comfortable with male pronouns you know? I can handle it tho. I wear guys clothes 24/7, good thing is my bf thinks I look good in it. I'm androgynous and very happy about it

  30. (I'm agender but biologically female) In school I wear the boy's gym uniform as well as have a new name as my preferred name and friends call me by my pronouns. Super grateful for it as I live in the south where people give me looks lol kill me

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