Joe Rogan – Joey Diaz on His First Day in New Jersey

Joe Rogan – Joey Diaz on His First Day in New Jersey



sticky jelly got my dick HR I was his name mr. martini mr. martini mr. martini God my home you first moved to 88th Street that's the first thing the kid to tell you like I was sleeping this guy don't fuck up mr. martini oh Jesus he's a monster in his nearby a teeny wore black suit with a white shirt and black shoes as a wife would die and he owned the building on 88th Street in the middle and he was angry and he would sweep and you know like when you were a kid and you stopped in front of somebody's house he would always come out and go get the fuck out of here you little fucking douchebags get the fun I was Cuban I didn't understand the language I didn't really understand what he was saying I understood the anger but I don't understand the language he would come out with a broom get the fuck out of here one day I realize I'm like this motherfucker wants to rock so while my other friends didn't wanna fucking him I'm like we're gonna fuck with this motherfucker so all Cubans have been like water in front of their house and there's something that your mother throws change and every day yeah it's like a good luck statue I would steal the change and bring it downstairs and I would look at the poorer kids and I go come in for saying you want a corner never go yeah we'll get a quarter I would take a quarter to throw it when mr. martini lived mmm he lived like in a basement area and when he ran the whole bit he'd be right there and he'd chase us we go mr. martini something like weeny in the fucking chases he chases he caught you he would fucking hit you like 50 times but we fucked him up we would fuck him up dog I saw some shit the first day like New Jersey to me was it completely that was like Mars to most people I think most people listen to me and go you grew up someplace that doesn't exist I'll bring eight people to fill these chairs to tell you about the parents and the people and the situations but the first day I went out in my hometown of Bergen I saw me and Joe Rogan fight and even though I had Joe Rogan on his back I saw Joe Rogan's father come down the stairs pull me off Joe Rogan smack me punch me kick me me on the floor and make his kids go in that was my first experience ever in North Bergen New Jersey and sawmill and mr. Robson come downstairs he took Anthony off his son threw him off smacked him in the fucking face Joe Rogan at 2 and he half the fucking noon in 90 degree he punched him in the stomach and told him to go home you little Guinea fuck go home you little Guinea fuck say that now they'll throw you in jail for two years he throw him go home you little Guinea fucking Anthony look at him crying a little bit he picked up his shirt he went like this like he took the thing off and he goes I'm calling my fucking father you fucking dead motherfucker oh you fucking Guinea fucking greaseball father died a he's probably a greaseball just like you and I'm sitting there going I want to see how this plays out and next thing you know two cop cars pull up and there's one cop car that's unmarked it's another one that's marked and it's a big fucking Italian with him detective like you know the short stumpy Italian and he comes out of his car I put his fucking jacket on it barely fits but till this dare remember the mortadella's he had on his hand he goes what the fuck's going on here kids the fucking mr. Robson came at me and he fucking smack me in the face these are my witnesses Talib didn't he fucking hit me and I'm sitting there going on this is gonna get fucking good the fucking cop the detective tells the cop go look around see if there's tickets go spread tickets and he goes where's this guy live and he goes and he goes he grabbed all the other kids he goes tell me what happened and he goes Anthony and him were fighting and he came back and he fucking pulled them and that this time they know that could the cops are there I'm mister Robson I kind of opened this door to be kind of tough like he's not coming up here he's only normal fucking knock him out – and the cop goes okay okay okay leave grabbed the kid because you're okay right yeah because he just hit me in the face and he fucking walked up the stairs bro I'm five minutes got to the top thing I open the fucking door Joe Rogan this guy will put his hand then pull the ball fucking put him against the fucking thing on the second floor with everybody out and just started punching him Oh punching him punching him like fucking John Jones this one he's got you down he's hitting with no shots to the head until the guy killed though and they started kicking him with the fucking thing bam bam bam don't you ever fucking hit my son again let's get out of here well that was how I became friends with the family because soon as he came down he goes who was this kid because he's the spicket he's the only one that jumped in because you want to come home for dinner and that was the beginning of my life when I got in that police car because I did raisin whatever I did whatever the fuck I want till today this is fucking crazy and you know me and you don't fuck around what do you got over there this is still that's what happened in 1970 fucking three and what's that today that's a a gold card what does this card do it it does what it will need it to do it does whatever I needed to do you know I'm saying you're a family member did why because of that fucking day cuz I'm the only guy that jumped it I like how cops have things like that a family member one of your buddies is a cop show ever get pulled over put this on your license plate this little sneaky little thing so now we're tight I'm eating at the house I'm eating fucking pasta we had the middle oh I could open up the front door whenever I want I call the mama she makes cream puffs oh wow I'm tight with them I'm the only Cuban in 1974 that's even walking in there so now we're in the sixth grade and we're playing kickball McKinley had no fun remember two months ago how long the generous donated fifty thousand to a grandma school was my grandma school North Bergen New Jersey months ago yeah one degeneres donated fifty thousand now when I went to that grammar school those motherfuckers didn't have a Jim Joe Road you shovel snow they gotta be shoveled snow shovel snow well it's no not you shovel snow that was part of your physical education yeah and you did push-ups and sit-ups and fucking that's like russian chick bro I'm sorry in the kitchen we didn't know they were brutal finally they built a gym in the eighth grade yeah but before that we played kickball outside in the fall when they were getting playing kickball never forget this the guys name was mr. tortora that was the teacher's name was he a good guy it was a good full gym teacher and we're out there we're playing kickball and again that little Italian kid the one that invited me there was a sense father beat up the first dude we're playing kickball he's throwing the ball and every time I swing and I miss he's calling me go go goddamn local that means I'm a boogie face in Spanish cause it rhymes a coco right and the teacher keeps going Anthony I told you a thousand times none of that spic shit saliva this is the sixth grade North Bergen New Jersey a teacher school teacher mr. Tatar was like hey let's pick a roof shit over here right this is America right really Oh bro that was at that time that was a big issue because a couple weeks before that a guy named tortora was a baseball coach and he threw a kid off for speaking Spanish on the bus he told to me there's no Spanish on the bus and the kid goes fuck you and he spoke Spanish they threw him off like 20 miles in the house became a big problem in my hometown they were gonna kill the fucking do it but I remember going home my mom going he's talking the truth and now she speaks Spanish this is America outside you speak American so my mom cut me off right there like I went home like ready to fucking be like a protester she was like that don't happen here were Americans he wants to expand it's over the house I think there's a real benefit to being able to speak more than one language definitely is yeah completely different my said I'm happy I do it I speak to my daughter in Spanish if I tell my ask him mercy something I reactor in Spanish if I science Irie Irie tolerance paradise

37 Replies to “Joe Rogan – Joey Diaz on His First Day in New Jersey”

  1. Why is he talking about beating Joe Rogan up I don't understand himat all then he suddenly changes it to some one called Anthony? Wtf is this shit

  2. Next thing u know two cars pull out πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¦πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¦πŸ˜¦πŸ˜¦πŸ˜¦πŸ˜¦πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¦πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯

  3. As i walk through the valley of death i fear no evil, since it aint shit after having been born and raised in NJ. Yea it's an armpit, but it's My armpit

  4. I come from Greek heritage, absolutely right Greek in the house English outside, now absolutely again multiple languages that’s called education.

  5. For everybody saying Joey is lying, I really doubt it. I’m from NYC and all the older guys have crazy ass stories like Joey. NY and Jersey back in the 70s and 80s were fucking crazy.

  6. Sound like a the start of a movie like little joey jump in thecar and the opening credits show up haha

  7. First day in New Jersey he didn’t speak English but remembers everything that was said…. love Joey but he lies so much lmao

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