Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple – The Friend Who Sexts for You

Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple – The Friend Who Sexts for You

It’s so good to be here. Um, thank you, Amy. Here’s what
a great friend Amy is. I, um, I recently sent a dirty picture of myself
to the wrong person, um… It’s because the guy I’m with
has the same first name as the guy I accidentally
sent the picture to. And I get lazy, ’cause, like,
I try to take pictures when I go away, you know,
just so that he has something to beat to until
I get back home again. But I just start doling ’em out
without checking them first. So I sent it
to the wrong guy and I don’t even know him
very well and he’s married and he has kids–
it was horrifying. It was the most humiliating
moment of my life. And it– yeah,
it wasn’t even a good one. Like, if it was a hot one,
I’d be embarrassed, but maybe secretly,
like, a little proud. You know, like, okay. But it was, like, jacked up,
not in a good way. The underwear
was just real slovenly. It was, like, the last clean
pair I had, clearly. And there was some
debris by my foot that I noticed
after I sent it. There were some coins
lying there and… and a receipt and a knotted-up USB cord. It was disgusting. And the guy I sent it to, I don’t even know him
very well. I was, like, horrified. And I told Amy. I called her up and I’m like, “You’re not gonna believe
who I just sent this disgusting picture
of my crotch to.” And I’m like, “There’s muffin
by my foot and a receipt.” And she’s like,
“What did you buy?” I’m like,
“That’s the question?” And then she goes, “Well, if it makes you
feel any better, I’ll send him one, too.” And I was like,
“Thank you so much.” I’m like, “But it
can’t be a hot one. “You understand that, right? “Like… like, yours
cannot be the example “of what a hot woman sends and then I send this
gangrenous, jacked-up one.” She’s like, “I promise, it’ll be (bleep) up,
not in a good way.” So she just sent him
a picture of her crotch in these sort of olive green
baggy sweatpants. And there was just one hand sort of gently resting
near her “vadge” area. Just one stationary hand, catty-corner to her vadge. And then there was
a long, thin mustard stain down the right leg. It was one of
the most beautiful things

100 Replies to “Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple – The Friend Who Sexts for You”

  1. You know your dumb when you judge people by the colour they wear.

    And also, you have such a bad sense of humour because your only jokes are sex jokes just like Amy

  2. Shortly after this show I met her on an elevator in the hotel that she was staying at . Same dress same shoes. I'm thinking she sexy as fuck. I look her up and down and say . Can I smell your feet? She looks at me with disgust and says ewe know. So I looked her straight in the eyes and said , yeah I thought it was your pussy. Still suck your toes though.


  4. This is disappointing because she was hilarious on Women Who Kill. Honestly, I don't even get the conceit of her joke. Why, if you accidentally send a gross sext to a married man, does having another friend send an equally gross sext somehow make it better? Also, what about the fact that the man is married? You're potentially causing major problems for him! I get that standup isn't necessarily reality, but there needs to be some grain of relatability or truth to it. That's what makes for good comedy.

  5. Oh look! Amy Schumers slutier but less funny sister. Where they find this perverted Jewish girls? It makes you think, who's cock did they suck to get this gig?

  6. Why do female comedians wear dresses and heels with faces full of makeup. Don't they know what it does to my lizard brain. Titties are my trigger. It's so distracting and can't even hear the joke.

  7. An unfunny female jewish comedian promotes another unfunny female jewish comedian. Who woulda thot

  8. This was actually a very funny special. Not a fan of most female comedians, Dave and Patrice O’neal are at the top for me. She’s way better than joketheft Amy.

  9. I feel bad for the audience who had to sit through this. She's about as funny as walking on shards of glass with bare feet. 😯

  10. well asking Amy Schumer to send a "hot selfie" is a fucking impossibility. She's like the sea hag from Popeye cartoons. Clearly Ms. Feinstein YOURS would be the hot picture and even that's a stretch…

  11. This gal is so unbelievably gorgeous, funny, clever, and original.
    I recommend seeing her live because she is amazing.

    Plus, that dress…HELLO

  12. Rachel, You're an absolute fox! If the Amy that you keep referring to is Amy Schumer, I find her to be a vulgar, classless, self absorbed human being, uncle chuckie is also self absorbed, but Amy out does him by leaps and bounds.

  13. Almost as sexy as getting a bj from a chick with dirty fingernails and yellow teeth except for that one suspicious white left front one . Evertime she looks up and smiles it reminds you that mustard and mayo do not go together .

  14. oi, carefull with what you say about other people, I wouldnt like to be called a whore, and neither would you.

  15. but you are welcome to call me a male slut for women, however my standards both physical and intelectually are quite high…

  16. Hi, well, I would say I've seen clips of other performances she did that showed more of her talent, she's actually pretty good at what is known as voice impressions, I give her that, and this is coming from somebody that considers herself to be comedic, so take it from me lmao!!!

  17. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    Comm,No its not / // haa/ // sounds like fun/ /it sounds …terrible / // oh wow

  18. I have this theory that most people who go to a comedy club are already prepared to laugh with almost no regard to what is said. I think she just proved it.

  19. i hope to god amy schumer didn't actually do that because that's creepy as fuck. not surprising based on one of her bits where she raped a dude while he was drunk. this wouldn't be getting a laugh if they were guys sending unsolicited dick pics to a married woman so why is this getting a laugh as is?

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