What to Wear to Hit on Your Neighbor ft. Jak Knight and Langston Kerman | Thrift Haul | Tatered

What to Wear to Hit on Your Neighbor ft. Jak Knight and Langston Kerman | Thrift Haul | Tatered


Steve Harvey, I’m coming for your ass.>>Yeah, Steve Harvey. I know you watch this.>>You’re probably doing a radio show, mad
about what the reverend said last Sunday. And you know what, he was out of line.>>What up? It’s Fat Tony and this is Thrift Haul. A competitive fashion show with two
contestants compete to see who can style it best on a budget. Today’s episode, Hot Neighbor. Our contestants will be competing to see
who can dress like the hottest neighbor on the block. Contestant number one,
comedian Langston Kerman.>>Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, yeah.>>Man. Your personality doesn’t match your looks,
dawg.>>[LAUGH]
>>I’m Jak Knight, AKA Cornelius the Lime-Lemon God.>>Lemon-Lime God.>>Lemon-Lime God.>>There you go.>>Do your job, Fat Joe.>>[LAUGH]
>>Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? What you got on? Do you [BLEEP] with thrifting?>>I don’t [BLEEP] with thrifting,
I have anxiety.>>Jak Knight,
can you tell us about Thugger Thugger?>>Thugger Thugger? We’re talking about
the hottest name on the block. I’m only here to dress like Thug. That’s my goal, that’s my mentality,
and that’s how I’m gonna win.>>Can you believe that’s the body
of a man with eight kids.>>[LAUGH]
>>Our contestants will go to head to head for three rounds. First up, the physical challenge. Next, a competitive shopping spree and
third, a fashion show. Guess judge, Zainab Johnson and
I will pick the winner.>>I’m judgy, y’all.>>What makes a Hot Neighbor?>>Not calling the police.>>If it’s a guy that’s a hot neighbor, somebody who’s surely
not gonna be evicted.>>And if it’s a woman?>>I cannot describe myself.>>The whole thing.>>[LAUGH]
>>I’m not mad at it, but the bowl, bowl, bowl.>>I feel like if I asked you
guys the same exact question, y’all would’ve been like, booty shorts.>>Yeah.
>>Yeah.>>Well,
>>Yeah.>>It dpeends on the booty.>>And
I would melt if I had a hot neighbor. You know what I mean? I just stand outside the peep hole,
just waiting for her to come. I can’t handle that, nope. They’ve all been ugly,
just like I deserved.>>You guys have any strategy for
shopping for your hot neighbor look?>>If I’m gonna be a hot neighbor, I want to like bring bright fluorescent
colors to the neighborhood. And after seeing what the judge likes,
I’m gonna go for that hot stuff.>>[LAUGH]
>>My strategy is to have as much->>If you say fun, I swear to God, I’m gonna go home.>>Well, I’ll tell you this,
I don’t wanna have fun.>>[LAUGH]
>>We got some [BLEEP] at stake. The winner gets to pick an outfit for the
loser to wear, post to their Instagram, which can never be deleted, and they gotta wear it in real life
to hit on one of their own neighbors. How do you guys feel about that?>>I feel great.
Langston has more Instagram followers, so it’s gonna mean more to him.>>Goddamn those guest roles?>>[LAUGH]
>>Each of you begin with two minutes on your clock to shop. If you want a little more time, you
gotta compete in our physical challenge. You down for it?>>This gonna be fun, y’all.>>First up, the physical challenge. You guys got a neighbor,
you need some sugar.>>Mm-hm.
>>I need you to deliver to the camera your best speech to a choir
sugar from your neighbor.>>Zainab, you judge who is the suavest,
who’s the most charming, who’s gonna get that sugar.>>Okay.>>Jak Knight, you’re up first.>>Hey, you’re so sweet. You’re always sweet to me. You’re sweet to everybody around me. I know you have a lot of
extra sweetness on you. Can I borrow some sugar off you?>>Sugar.>>I wanna point out.>>[LAUGH]
>>He did finger guns at the end and that should be,
that’s gotta be points off. He didn’t have to do that.>>Go.>>Its my turn? Okay, all right.>>[LAUGH] [MUSIC]>>Hey, girl. How you doing? You know what I enjoy? Sugar. You got some? I’ll let them play it.>>Sugar.>>He has a committed girlfriend.>>Yeah.
>>She’ll gonna cheer you when she see this.>>[LAUGH]
>>That’s what I’m not, no. Nope. [BLEEP]
>>[LAUGH]>>Jak had the finger guns. You say, holla at a player,
I haven’t heard that since 2002. I like how you haven’t noticed
that your hand was shaky. Like I don’t even believe even myself.>>Bro is so nervous.>>I needed that sugar. I like to think that I’m asking for sugar
because there’s kidnappers in my apartment who desperately want to put
some in their Cheerios.>>And that’s why you’re so
nervous and shaky? Cuz Isis needs sugar?>>But you said, you know what I like. No, we were just neighbors. I have no idea what you like.>>I’m going to have to go with Jak.>>What?>>Here’s why, he gave the neighbors so many compliments before he asked for
anything. He was like, you sweet, you always sweet,
you got sweetness on you. Can I borrow a little bit of that? He was like, it was about you.>>My God.>>I was a hoe for a long time.>>[LAUGH]
>>Jak Knight, you win it,
you get 30 seconds added to your clock. You’re gonna shop with
2 minutes 30 seconds, Langston you’ll be shopping
with 2 minutes on your clock. Jak Night as the winner of round 1,
you get to decide, do you wanna go out there first and
shop or you wanna send Langston out there?>>Langston goes first.>>Round 2, shopping spree.>>My strategy for
today is to buy in bulk. I’m treating this [BLEEP] like Costco. I am picking up everything I can,
and assuming that I am preparing for the apocalypse.>>We got Langston up first. Langston, you’re gonna be judged by
your creativity, your overall look, and adherence to the theme of being
the hottest neighboor on the block. You got two minutes, you ready?>>I’m ready, Fat Tony.>>I’m ready, Fat Tony. [LAUGH]
>>All right, Langston, believe in yourself. Remember, this is what we trained for. And this is your chance. Let’s do it, buddy.>>Ready, set, go.>>Yeah.>>I’m getting ready for prom.>>But why he shimmying?>>We gotta go corduroy, playboy. And get both of those.>>Okay, damn it’s a lot.>>I’ma look good.
>>Makes him look like a stepdad before Christmas.>>Excuse me, ma’am. Those are pants. Watch out, playboy.>>A minute and 15 seconds.>>You’re damn,
right I got a minute and 15 seconds.>>Don’t forget, you need shoes.>>No, I don’t need no damn shoes.>>He got six vests already.>>Yeah,
that’s gonna look good on your boy.>>He got a lot of shirts. He need one outfit.>>Uh-huh.>>But does he have more heely’s? Why he keep flying on them?>>He just have greasy-ass body.>>[LAUGH]
>>I’m gonna get the rain boots.>>I think Langston’s going for
quantity over quality right now.>>You can never be too classy.>>He’s just picking up [BLEEP]. He doesn’t really have any vision. It’s kinda like his act. [LAUGH]
>>Now to accessorize.>>No, is he picking up a rug?>>Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one. [SOUND]
>>But what you’re going to do with that rug,
though?>>[LAUGH]
>>I couldn’t be prouder of my performance today. [MUSIC]
I got a welcome mat. Technically, it’s a bathroom mat.>>What do you think
about Langston’s [BLEEP]?>>I think,
he got a lot [BLEEP] that he don’t need. I’ve never been to a neighbor’s house and
was like hey, you got a extra rug?>>Did I get multiple
pairs of track pants? You goddamn right I did. Galoshes? Water breaks? I’m in there.>>Them look like a size four in kids.>>[LAUGH]
>>I got multiple vests, cool sunglasses, spectacles. These are prescription, good, good, good.>>The worst thing you should ever wear
is somebody else’s prescribed glasses.>>They’re like heavily prescribed.>>Who comes to Goodwill and is like,
now I don’t know how to see.>>[LAUGH]
>>These are my pants, a tie. It’s never too hot for corduroy. This is actually my pride, right here. Gold on the trim? Come on, now. These nice shoes? They curl up at the tip,
so you know they’re good. I got glasses, so
that I can entertain my guests. I can’t get it all the way out on
account of all the other things, but it’s a prom vest. Somebody’s bought a prom vest and
then returned it to Goodwill. That’s exciting, and a bad prom. I got a mother [BLEEP] spatula. The game is locked in. Jak’s a [BLEEP], I can’t wait.>>Woah!
>>Whoo!>>Jak’s a [BLEEP], I can’t wait, wow.>>That’s allowed? That’s not a five yard penalty?>>That was after the spatula, too.>>Imagine if a [BLEEP] calls you
a [BLEEP] with a spatula in his hand. Only happened to me once at Fat Burger.>>[BLEEP] what you want?>>Damn [BLEEP], a double double. That’s In-N-Out,
I know commenters, shut up. You know why it’s important to be
the hottest neighbor on your block? Because that’s all that matters is heart. People try and make it about
personality or what you know. Nah. It’s about if you look good. Langston has no taste. Langston has no class. So the strategy here today is to win.>>I lost 30 seconds in the competition. But I am about to sabotage Jak Knight. I’m gonna dress up like one of the locals. Hint, cowboy hat and sunglasses. Yes, we’re in California. No, I don’t know what
the locals dress like. I’m gonna do whatever I can to win this
competition because it means the world to me, and also,
I have nothing else going on in my life.>>We got Jak Knight up next with 2
minutes and 30 seconds on his clock.>>Ready, set, go.>>Yeah.>>And I do expect a bit more from you
Jak, cause you do have 30 seconds.>>He’s really taking his time.>>This is the problem with the youth
today, people like Langston, they try and speed through things,
they don’t take their time with people.>>Jak’s walking around
like a senior citizen.>>I got some shoes, okay.>>Jak is shopping like
he’s at the Bloomingdale’s. [LAUGH]
>>Okay, we got a customer putting
[BLEEP] in his cart.>>You can’t just have randos running. [LAUGH] Jesus.>>I don’t think he wants that. [MUSIC]>>[LAUGH]
>>See, they go low and I go Michelle Obama.>>[BLEEP] [LAUGH]
>>Jak has no clothes in his basket.>>[LAUGH]
>>He’s an idiot. I’ve said it from the beginning,
his brain isn’t good and this is completely reflective of that. He’s going to pretend to take his time and then he’s gonna realize,
I literally have nothing. He doesn’t even remember what
the theme of the show is. I guarantee. Jak, what’s the thing?>>Yo, mama.>>See.
He thinks it’s my mama.>>Jak, you have one minute left. [MUSIC]>>He’s taken up a lot of women’s clothes.>>He got an ID. As long he put an ID in there.>>Okay, I’m done.>>He’s done.
>>[LAUGH]>>You have 30 seconds left.>>I’m done, I don’t need it.>>[LAUGH]
>>The boy ain’t got no pants.>>You saw what Langston did earlier in
the show, all he did was run around and pick up [BLEEP] and throw it in a basket. He just kinda flies around
like a little silly willy boy. Me?
Me, I only go for the drip. Cuz I already know whatever I
put on is gonna look good on me. Take you in the box.>>Right before you start, can we
mention that you said silly willy boy?>>[LAUGH]
>>This right here? That’s a little fish tank. Look at this drip right here. This is that Quavo original. I’m actually gonna either choose between
the two, I haven’t really chose yet, but one of these are really
gonna really pop on me.>>Is Jak trying to be a First Lady?>>The First Lady is
stealing your [BLEEP]. This is probably back, man. I used to be in the boys and girls club. I used to hoop, I used to wear number 14. This hit a chord with me. And these pants.>>I didn’t know he had pants.>>Well, we kept saying,
he had no bottoms, but then he brought out the one bottom and
they’re phenomenal. Look at that. Miami paisley capri.>>There’s no way you’d fit those pants.>>You don’t know what a skinny
[BLEEP] would do dawg.>>[LAUGH]
>>And these, somebody really want to be a part of this
shoot, so they gave them to me for free, so that’ll put them in his cart. This right here?
This is just something for my girl, dawg.>>[LAUGH]
>>I’m right here for my baby. I love you. Just can’t get something for my girl,
I gotta get something for my mama, too.>>[LAUGH]
>>Mama, I love you. This here for my stepdad.>>I love his stepdad.>>What you’re seeing here
is a beautiful color palet. People don’t appreciate dark
skin like they really should.>>I feel like, if Jak is my neighbor, we are on our
way to being really best friends.>>That’s a very different
response than you had to my cart.>>[LAUGH]
>>Say something negative.>>It’s so hard to be critical when
he picked up stuff for his mom and his girlfriend,>>That’s not the game,
that’s not the class.>>And he took it straight from like,
the Golden Girls collection. I mean, even the pants.
I wanna try them on myself.>>Fat Tony, talk some sense into her,
cuz I’m done.>>I think it’s about time
we move on to round 3. Let’s get to the fashion show and
see how these boys wear these.>>Yeah, that’s what’s key. It doesn’t matter what you have,
it’s how it looks on you.>>Round 3, the fashion show.>>First up, Langston Kerman,
show your ass.>>Hello.>>Ohhh. Langston looks like he’s about to sing,
it’s not unusual.>>[LAUGH]
>>You all thought I had too many options, but nope I didn’t, I dressed for work and after work>>Wow
>>And a little sip. I’m not gonna put my mouth on it,
on account of disease.>>Is your chest normally shiny and
hairless, or there has something you
did in the dressing room?>>That’s what the Lord gave me.>>[LAUGH]
>>Wow.>>Soak it in ya’ll, come on now.>>What would you put in that
glass if you had a choice?>>Grape juice or some more gulp. Whatever y’all like,
I’m a neighbor, I like to help out. What ever you need, I got it.>>Can you tell us about the tie? Why did you go with this one?>>I like to give you the vibe that, I had
a hard day at work, you know I have a job. Good neighbor, you ain’t gotta worry
about people kicking in your door, worrying about a bunch of crazy nonsense,
selling drugs. No, no, no, I am a busy Miami worker man,
and that’s what that tag tells you. I had a hard day, but I’m not too
busy to spend some time with you.>>Now, the eyeglasses, you have them
in your pocket, do you not need it or?>>They´re reading glasses,
sometimes I need to read. Now, if you need me to look over
some documents, I can help.>>Yeah, he´s got everything-
>>How about the shoes? Why did you go with those?>>Well, they were the only
options I picked, I coordinated.>>I see.>>Even in the tie,
I noticed that the color is tied in.>>You picked options,
so you have options. He had one pair of pants. If they don’t end up right, he’s done.>>That’s a neighborly
[BLEEP] outfit right there. What can I say?>>You look good.>>Damn right.>>You look like you quit your job,
and are still on vacation.>>There you go, I’m going for
a real Jimmy Buffett vibe. This is it.>>Langston, you look like if they brought
back Weekends at Bernie’s for BET, you would be the star.>>I am Bernie, it’s my weekend.>>Thank you, Langston Kerman.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Come on, Jak, get your chocolate ass out here.>>Okay,
we got Quavo mixing with Jimi Hendrix.>>Yeah,
that’s exactly what he’s giving us.>>Jak Night, can we get a little walk.>>Of course. Music. [MUSIC] Well, what I wanted to do
with this piece is inspire. I want to show that world that
you could be yourself and also somebody else at the same time. This is all just an illusion,
this is all a void. Y’all pretending this makes sense. Me?
I am the is. I ain’t the the love.
[MUSIC]>>It’s like you gain some points,
and then you lose some points.>>[LAUGH]
>>Cuz I wanna Langston to be able to keep up.>>Okay. [MUSIC]>>The jacket on top of the basketball
jersey, it’s to show my youth but also show my maturity.>>I like that the jersey is tucked in.>>Yeah, tucked in, you gotta be nice.>>The color palette, top to bottom, fire. Let’s start with the shoes. You see little sparkles,
little shine shine on top of that? It’s for the hose, cuz I knew I was
gonna wear a colorful piece today, so I put on these socks. These are my own original socks. The pants, I mean,
you see them, they’re seen. We all see what’s happening. And the pink is just for fun.>>I feel like the house version of Bad
and Boujee should be playing right now.>>[LAUGH]
>>If this is the picture that goes on Instagram, you’re gonna
get thousands of likes.>>Put it out there then. Make me shine. I’m ready to fly. I was born for this.>>What’s bigger than all
of this is the confidence. I mean, it don’t matter what he’s wearing.>>The drip was always gonna be there.>>And earlier,
he had the young thug shirt on. He really came with
a thug-inspired outfit.>>Only thing that I don’t know
how this helps his neighbor. On the world of fashion and
in just discovering being yourself, 10. But in terms of hot neighbor,
>>You’ve got a really confident neighbor.>>Okay.>>I come to game night, I bring things.>>Okay.>>I don’t ever come to no
barbecue without some meat. I don’t ever come to no bachelor
party without some [BLEEP]. I don’t ever go nowhere without something. I bring, I always add,
I don’t subtract from the world.>>I guess, here’s the answer to that.>>Yeah, [LAUGH].>>That ain’t no neighbor outfit.>>My God. That’s what you wore? I already won. This is dumb.
>>[LAUGH]>>You both look like you haven’t had jobs in years.>>But they were pretty
good jobs when we had them.>>Jak never had a good job.>>[LAUGH]
>>No, but I live the [BLEEP] out the 80s.>>All right, so we’re judging on their
creativity, their adherence to the theme, and their overall look.>>Jak’s outfit, Langston’s outfit. Imagine they were your neighbor,
how would the outfits make you feel?>>This is hard.>>I love the creativity that Jak brought.>>Mm-hm.
>>I like Langston brought some hella creative [BLEEP], too.>>Langston had every shade
of pink you can have.>>I feel like,
he really stuck with the theme the best.>>Okay.
>>Coming with the glass for a party, even in his whole speech
about it, he kept going neighbor this, neighbor this, neighbor that. Jak was really all about himself.>>Langston looks like he pops-up and
leaves with everything. He came with an empty wine bottle, and
he’s coming to my house to fill it up. He seems like he takes. Jak don’t seem like he
bring anything either, and what he brings, you don’t even want. But, at least,
he’ll be the talk of the party. Everybody’s gonna be like, y’all,
>>Did you see what he’s wearing? You know what,
Langston’s whole savvy-businessman shtick kinda gave me a con-man vibe.>>Yes, yes, yes, yes.>>Don’t want that in my house.>>Yes.>>I like how Jak’s outfit
touched on different themes. He had the Quavo pants,
he had the basketball jersey. He was reflecting on his past and
his present. I love the bandana [BLEEP],
the Jimi Hendrix [BLEEP], very cute.>>Mm-hm, mm-hm.>>It’s a tough one. If you had to pick,
who would be the winner? But keep in mind,
the loser has to wear an outfit that is picked by the winner to put
on their Instagram, and they gotta actually have to hit on their
real life hot neighbor in that outfit. [MUSIC]>>All right.>>Can we get the contestants
to the floor? Guys, took us a while,
but we came to a decision. We love both of your outfits. There’s only one winner. Jak Knight-
>>What?>>Is not the winner,
it’s Langston Kerman.>>Yeah.>>Langston,
we’re gonna need you to pick an outfit for Jak knight that he’s gonna hit
on his real life neighbor in.>>My little memory foam,
you’re gonna carry that like a briefcase. You’re going full Hillary this time,
but you’re a magician underneath. And you know what, because I’m a friend,
you wear this however you want, hanging out your crotch for all I care. Cuz you a loser,
you had a whole lot of confidence before. [SOUND]
>>Sometimes, you come out the house, you lose even though you should have win.>>I am proud to be a not
good enough neighbor.>>[LAUGH]
>>Big shout out to Jak, Langston, and Zainab for rocking with us today. What should the next episode be about? A) B.D.E. (Big [BLEEP] Energy),
B) Thot Topic, AKA sexy Instagaf, C) Broke on the red carpet, or D)
Delivering postmates to Rihanna’s house.>>Yo, who is this?>>We thought you knew him.>>I’m fixin’ to look good like you!>>What can I say, bro? I just look young.>>How old are you?>>How many time I have to tell you,
little brother, I’m shoppin’.>>He’s shoppin’.>>He’s shoppin’. [LAUGH]
>>I’m lookin’ for a nice shirt man. Make me look cool!>>That might be the one for you.>>That’s right! She even looking at me.>>Is she really?>>Hell yeah! Sure look good, girl!>>[LAUGH]
>>Boy.>>He signed that whole release form,
just to say that to me. [LAUGH]
>>I’m shoppin’.>>[LAUGH]

100 Replies to “What to Wear to Hit on Your Neighbor ft. Jak Knight and Langston Kerman | Thrift Haul | Tatered”

  1. Can you please bring back the Upgraded show??? Itโ€™s the best show you guys had. the new stuff is meh

  2. can you please have the man at the end on as the next judge like what a fuckin' ledge

  3. Delivering Postmates to Rihanna! I looooove this show! I would have been so much more athletic if we had competitive shopping as a sport in school!

  4. hey tabasko sweet you should make a Louis Vuitton belt it's easy you need banking play paint then put black and white on the Belt please make a Louis Vuitton ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ—ฝ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐโœโœ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น

  5. Gahtdamm I miss this show ๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ

  6. โ€œNo, but I lived the fuck out the 80sโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ they cute. Homie from Insecure ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพโ™ฅ๏ธ

  7. Jak's look says he's the Neighbor who sit's around the house with his countless "Roomates" smokin weed and spitting rhymes that never get sold.

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