Why Do I Wear a Hard Hat?

Why Do I Wear a Hard Hat?


Kira, burning question, need to answer it. Why do you wear that f*cking hard hat? Well it turns out I do whatever the f*ck I want to so. I have taken
the time to write a small list of the reasons why I wear a hard hat so… To stop those pesky 5g signals from affecting my thinking power. Fashion statement innit fam. Paired with the right jacket I can get into any building site. So I’ve been having problems with mind readers recently. The attention I get from it literally gets me high and is much cheaper than traditional narcotics. Bad hair day. You see I can’t get lost at festivals because everyone’s like, “Oh have you seen the girl with the hardhat?” “Like yes you can’t miss her!” Get to talk to new people. So you may know that I live in Brighton and Brighton is in fact seagull central… it’s
a very easy way to protect yourself from the sh!t-storm. So it actually allows me to
harness 100% of my brain power. So it’s actually white and it reflects the sun’s rays so this is my role in protecting the ozone layer. You see I never really
have a love life anyway so. *ALARM GOING OFF* *BANGS HEAD* *ALARM GOING OFF* I wear the hard hat because I have
slanted ceilings and I don’t what a concussion first thing in the morning. I mean do you sleep in it Kira, really? Ummmm….

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